Every once in a while, a movie comes along with a rather lengthy title. Some of them feels okay, but some of them feels like; “What the hell did the person who named this movie smoke?” and it kinda ruins the movie for me and This, is what I’ll be talking about tonight.
First up, we have a doozy. ‘Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan‘ from 2006. The incredibly deranged movie from the mind of even crazier face of comedy; Sacha Baron Cohen (the guy who gave us Ali G, Bruno and the Dictator). The movie follows Borat, a Kazakh TV talking head, dispatched to the United States to report on the greatest country in the world, complete with a documentary crew in tow. This is actually a title that fits the movie perfectly, as it really hasn’t got anything to do with anything. It’s a disgusting, yet intriguing tale of idiocy at its very best. A movie better left alone, if not for the simple value of being able to answer the question ‘Have you seen it?’ with an honest ‘Yes, yes I have.’ and never to talk about it again.
Next up, we have a slight change on the Serious-scale. The movie is based (how true it really is, is left for the historians to figure out) on events that took place in the late 1800’s. The movie is none other than; ‘The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford‘ from 2007 and as you can imagine, the movie is about just that. How and why the infamous outlaw Jesse James were murdered by his pal and companion Robert Ford. It stars pretty big names, such as Brad Pitt, Mary-Louise Parker and Casey Affleck and it was, at least according to myself, one of the most boring western-films ever. However, the title holds up. One of the most boring boring movies ever made deserves one of the most boring titles ever, simple as that.
Next up, we have another fun movie. Or is it really funny? Well, the title sure is; ‘Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood‘ from 1996. This movie is brought to us, by the same dudes behind the successful Scary Movie-franchise, yes, them… The Wayans-brothers. Spoofing is their game, and they sure are the reigning Champions! The title pretty much says it all about this one, a bunch of gangsters running around the hood drinking juice? Hahaha, no not really, but it’s not really much to it, it came out a few years before Scary Movie and the basis of it pretty much the same, only this time it’s gangster-shit instead of scary shit. This though, is the only movie on here today, that gets the Tango’s Stamp of Approval. Why? ‘Cause it’s frikkin hilarious, that’s why!!
Where shall we go from here, then? I know, let’s set this course of ours across the pond (as they say over there), to England, Great Britain, the UK, whatever you wanna call it, to the year 1995 and what seems to be smack in the middle of the next movie’s star’s prime. The guy I’m talking about, Hugh Grant. And the movie, ‘The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain‘. Much like any other movie starring Hugh Grant, it is a boring movie about boring stuff, boring the crap out of most people. This time, it’s about a cartographer and a mountain that’s really just a hill? Yeah, I think that’ll cover it, no need to dive any deeper on this one. Ridiculous, yet fitting title though.
Last, but not least, we have yet another time-piece, also said to be based on actual events. The movie ‘Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World‘ however, is on this ‘list’ for one purpose only and that is to show you HOW a lengthy movie-title Should be done. It draws out only by using its subtitle ‘The Far Side of the World‘, which in turn gives it a badass title fitting for a badass movie! It follows Gladiator by a few years and if that one didn’t cement Russell Crowe as one of our generations greatest, this one sure does!
There you have it, some of my ‘deepest’ thoughts on some of the dumbest movie-titles Ever… and Master And Commander! Now, I’m off to watch Curse of Chucky, since I didn’t get to chance to do it last night. And since I know you’re all anxious to know what I think about it, I suggest you tune in sometime tomorrow for the review.
But until then… if you’re going to write a movie, don’t use the working title, unless it’s badass, then by all means, go ahead!