The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003 remake)


2013 Horror-a-thon banner

Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake posterAs promised, Sundays are the bloody ones and this time, we’re taking a look at The Texas Chainsaw Massacre… yeah, the remake of the 1974 cult-classic (of the same name). This, however, is probably going to be my shortest review yet, because although it was pretty well received by the fans, with a 6.7 score on Metacritic, a 6.1 on IMDB (which in my book are pretty decent scores for a horror-remake), the critical response weren’t as favorable, with statements like “An unnecessary remake that’s more gory and less scary than the original.”  on Rotten Tomatoes and “Vile, ugly and brutal. There is not a shred of a reason to see it.”.by Roger Ebert. And I am pretty darn inclined to agree.

Texas Chainsaw Jessica BielThe only real thing that drove this movie forward was the sheer Hotness that is Jessica Biel. Of course people are going to watch the movie if it has that chick in it… which it does, and she’s Awesome! No, not because she’s a tremendously good actress but because she looks like that. Just look at her.. I’m in awe of that! Yeah yeah, I know, it does have R. Lee Ermey, sure, but that don’t automatically give it the ‘Full Metal Jacket‘-awesomeness that one have come to expect whenever Ermey’s attached. It’s sad, but true.

So, again, I am going to leave you with the trailer for the movie, and the same advice I gave about Apollo 18. Just watch the trailer and be done with it. Or… if you really DO want a Chainsaw Massacre-experience, watch The Beginning instead, that’s actually some scary shit! The 2003-reboot of the franchise, however, is another one for The Dump.

So there you go… short, but deadly. Tomorrow’s a new day And a new week, so you know what that means… yeah, another Scary Movie! But until then………. yeah, I got nothing for you tonight, maybe tomorrow?

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About hanktango

This is not a serious movie review-blog. I do not review movies in a fashion that certified critics would. I think about stuff when I watch movies, and then write about those thoughts I had during the movie. I sometimes also think about other stuff related to movies, like castings, sequels and a whole bunch of other stuff. Sometimes, I even think about video games and then write about that. The only thing that's really specific to my writing, is that I write to you in the same way I would talk to you about all this stuff. So please, enjoy my writings, and if you were to get offended by anything, I would suggest you unravel that bunched up pantyhose you have stuck up your butt and stop being so sensitive, because honestly... that's Your problem, not anyone elses. Thank you! View all posts by hanktango

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