The Conjuring

2013 Horror-a-thon banner

The ConjuringOkay, so… The Conjuring. The film was written by Chad & Carey Hayes and directed by James Wan and is a supernatural horror-movie starring Patrick Wilson (yeah, the dude from Insidious, or more commonly known as Nite Owl) and Vera Farmiga (currently portraying Norma Bates in the Psycho-prequel Bates Motel) as the Warrens, a pair of paranormal investigators, who’s services are needed by a family of seven (Ron Livingston & Lili Taylor + kids). As far as ratings goes, I’d say that it’s to fresh to give it a fair chance, so I’m leaving that for now. But I will say this, $41.5 million during its opening weekend, that’s one hell of an intake for a horror-film in the summer, so I’m pretty excited to see if it stands the test of time. My guess, it won’t. But please, let me tell you why…

While the film sets out to be a scary movie, it lacks any elements that would make it scary. Sure, it’s listed as a Horror/Thriller on IMDB, but I would really wanna go as far as to say that it’s more of a Thriller/Drama with some minor horror-touches on it. The few things that Could be seen as scary were minor and they were all scattered throughout the entirety of the film, which in turn made it kinda slow and boring, and that’s just not what you want from a horror-movie (even if it’s released in the middle of summer). It could be such an easy explanation that my mindset after watching all these scary movies during this Horror-a-thon is just to twisted, that I’ve been completely desensitized… or that after watching Sinister, I’m having a hard time finding anything else scary. While those are both plausible explanations, I would rather bet my money on the fact that the movie just wasn’t that scary.

The Conjuring closet attackThe effects were great though, not at all over-the-top as you pretty much were expecting from a movie these days. And the setup…. houff, that was actually one thing I liked about it. The first half of the movie focuses what’s happening in this house, giving us glimpses of supernatural occurrences, and sometimes even blatantly showing us what the hell is happening, but you don’t get that until the movie’s over and I found that to be kinda awesome. An explanation to the entirety of the film hiding in plain sight, taunting us without us even realizing it. But halfway through the movie, when shit starts flying about, birds scramble on the house, people go missing etc, it all becomes one ginormous pit stain of a mess. There’s so much happening at once, you’re left with a hard time following the actual plot, and if there is something I hate, it’s when they shoot stuff upside down, just so they can re-angle the camera on something happening… and they used this a lot! That peeved me greatly.

So in conclusion. Was it a great movie? No. Was it a good movie? At times. Did it scare me? Nope, it didn’t even get me with a jump-scare. Will I recommend this to friends? No, I will not. With that said, it’s not as bad as I make it out to be, it’s actually quite watchable… if you’re bored and have Nothing else to watch. And the re-see value? Sure, some 5-10 years apart, maybe.

That’s it for me tonight. Hope you had a good read, and have a pleasant continuation of your evening. Me, I’m gonna go play some Uncharted 2: Among Thieves for a few hours before watching tomorrow’s Horror-a-thon title. And what is that, you ask? I’m thinking either Drag Me To Hell or Silent Hill: Revelation. We’ll see how it turns out tomorrow. But until then….. if you have a demon, ghost or any supernatural entity visiting, make sure it stays happy, otherwise it’ll hurt you!

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About hanktango

This is not a serious movie review-blog. I do not review movies in a fashion that certified critics would. I think about stuff when I watch movies, and then write about those thoughts I had during the movie. I sometimes also think about other stuff related to movies, like castings, sequels and a whole bunch of other stuff. Sometimes, I even think about video games and then write about that. The only thing that's really specific to my writing, is that I write to you in the same way I would talk to you about all this stuff. So please, enjoy my writings, and if you were to get offended by anything, I would suggest you unravel that bunched up pantyhose you have stuck up your butt and stop being so sensitive, because honestly... that's Your problem, not anyone elses. Thank you! View all posts by hanktango

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