Monthly Archives: June 2014

TMNT – They keep dropping the ball….

Okay, so you all know how I feel about Michael Bay already so there’s no need for me to go into that again, but I feel like I have to say something about his upcoming TMNT-reboot, get my thoughts out there before I implode.

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When they first announced the reboot of the franchise, I was ecstatic to say the least. Later, when they told us that the Turtles would be alien, I thought out loud that it was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. What could possibly make this movie any worse? Well, they managed to cut it down by its knees yet again, by casting not only Megan Fox as April O’Neil, but a African-American female as a Caucasian male’s character (yes, I’m talking about Whoopi Goldberg as Bern Thompson), but that’s not all… they told us that Oroku Saki, a.k.a The Shredder, would be a white guy as well, named Eric Sachs… What the hell, man?! Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Fichtner or Goldberg, but not for these parts. I’d much rather see someone like John Travola as Bern and someone Japanese as The Shredder. As for the part of April O’Neil, I say fire ‘Samiches’ and re-shoot all of her scenes with Olivia Thirlby instead, ’cause she’s clearly the better choice…. for anything.

Bern April Whoopi MeganAnyway, done is done and there’s nothing more we can do about it (except rant and complain for years and years to come). Not much is looking up for the film so far, and when we got our first trailer and our first looks on the Turtles themselves, we we’re given at least a smidgen of hope. The Turtles were now just that, turtles, with a slight mutated form, of course, with a hint of ‘Samoan butch lesbians’ about’em. But it looked good (no, not as good as it could, but okay) and I didn’t think much more about it. It finally looked like it could actually be something even I as a true TMNT-fan could enjoy… but lo and behold, they had to screw that up again, with a Special Forces-type Foot clan….. and in the latest trailer… a MECHA-Shredder? I say again, What the hell, man?!
Foot Soldiers ShredderSure, we’re given a hint of some dude in the shadows who supposedly would turn out to be the real Shredder (hopefully, he’s Japanese as well but it’ll probably just turn out to be April’s long lost father or something to that fashion) but the armor looks like some cross-breed of Transformers and everything I have in my utensils-drawer in the kitchen. No, I am not in the slightest amused. In fact, I’m even more sure about my ‘Assassination of Michael Bay’ screenplay being a hit than ever before. The dude should not be allowed to make films from existing source material, because he just … pardon my french… Fucks everything up!

Well… I think I’ve given enough of my thoughts on the subject for now, but please let me know if you have anything to say about it, I’m dying to know what you think. So, as always, more goodies coming soon, but until then…..


Oculus – a quick review

Oculus, written by Mike Flanagan and Jeff Howard and based off of a short-screenplay by Mike Flanagan and Jeff Seidman and directed by Mike Flanagan, the man behind the film Ghosts of Hamilton Street… and well, there’s no doubt about that they tried, I give’em that, but did they succeed?

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First out, the story. A parent couple (Rory Cochrane and Katee Sackhoff) and their two children, a daughter and a son, moves in to a new house, where the dad decorates his office with a gigantic antique mirror, which it turns out…. is haunted. The children barely survives the happenings, with the son being blamed for their parents murder and sent to a psychiatric institution.

A woman tries to exonerate her brother, who was convicted of murder, by proving that the crime was committed by a supernatural phenomenon.”

That’s what IMDB says about the story, and that is kind of what the movie is about, but what they don’t tell you, is that a bit in to the first act, it looks more and more like she is insane herself, rather than the brother. With her being obsessed by the mirror and what it supposedly have done, she digs up information about its history and other supposed victims, including dogs, in order to vindicate her brother and destroy the mirror once and for all, just like they promised when they were kids.

The story is pretty good, with enough elements to deliver at least a decent horror film, but alas, that’s all it is….. decent. It’s far from the worst scary movie I’ve seen but it’s also far from the best. They utilize a kind of flashback-tool to drive the story forward, but at a point they overuse it and it makes the essence of the flashbacks more confusing than contributing, which I found to be a setback for the film. The scoring of the film, however, was brilliant, with ominous sounds and tunes almost throughout the film, which is a big ‘Must’ in a scary movie. Kudos to the filmmakers for that.

Oculus creepy scenes
Sure, the film had a few creepy scenes that could’ve made me shiver and shake  (had I not been desensitized over the years), but whenever you think something brilliant will happen, BAM!, a jump scare, and it turns out that the film relies more and more on just that, making it a jump scare-bonanza…. and you all know how I feel about jump scares…..

Brenton Twaithes Karen Gillan OculusBrenton Twaithes and Karen Gillan (who playes the main characters Tim and Kaylie as adults), have a mere decent chemistry on screen and they delivered no more believable performances than Jennifer Aniston in Leprechaun, but it is a scary movie and I’m having a really hard time remembering a scary film with great performances in it, so that’s just nitpicking from my part. They both show promise for future films, but they both are young still and there’s been a lot of people delivering poor performances at the beginning of their careers, so I think they both’ll be around for a while…

All in all, it was an okay visit to the theater, but it wouldn’t have mattered to me at all, if I had waited for the DVD-release. But hey, there was one thing about it that I’ll always remember….. and that is when my girlfriend was scared (yeah, by one of those blasted jump scares) and sends her bag of candy in the air, sending the candy all over the place…. hahaha, classic!!

Now, it’s time for me to drink a nice cup of coffe and do something else, but I’ll be back again soon with more goodies. What’ll it be? Maybe another installment of the ‘What If’-series? Or maybe a videogame fantasy-cast? You’ll just have to wait and find out, but until then….

Edge of Tomorrow – Quick review

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Wow, okay…. so as promised, here’s a quick review on Tom Cruise’s latest….. (can I say Masterpiece?)… achievement. For those of you who’ve read my earlier work, you know how I feel about Tom Cruise’s Oblivion, how it was the “Top Gun” of the 21th century and so on… but now, well, let me just say it like this; Edge of Tomorrow is the best thing that could have happened to Tom Cruise’s last 10 years of his career. How is that for a review? Oh, you want more, heh? Well, here it is then….

As most of you probably already have heard, Edge of Tomorrow has been given a curse. This curse, is that it is continuously being compared to Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day, i.e. it suffers from the “Groundhog Day” syndrome (for those out there who is oblivious to common knowledge, that is that one person relives the same day over and over again). With that said, And with that knowledge at hand, one would assume that just like Groundhog Day, the story would at some point be repetitive and tedious… and yes, one would assume correctly. BUT… and this is a great BUT….. The repetitive storyline is only a small portion of the first act and when the tediousness stops, the movie quickly becomes one of the greatest science fiction-films of our generation. The story (based on the japanese light novel All You Need is Kill) is brilliantly adapted for the big screen and both Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt plays their respective parts fantastically, and sure, we’ve seen Cruise don this type of movie character before, but for miss (or is it Mrs?Blunt, I’m pretty sure she was way out of her ordinary league… but they both did an amazing job and the chemistry between them was even better then what Tom and Nicole had in Days of Thunder, to say the least.

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But what about the application of it all IN the film? Well… first of all, I am far from any kind of expert (you all know this to be true), so I won’t sit here and tell you if something could have been done better or worse, edited faster etc, all I do is give you what I think…. and what I think is this; The music was fantastic, the score is magnificent and well fitted to the entirety of the film. The FX was great. Sure, there was a LOT of CGI but c’mon, even a Rom-Com has CGI these days so who cares, as long as it looks good, and it did! The supporting cast was amazing. It was a long time coming for Bill Paxton to deliver a believable performance on screen (yeah, I’m excluding his part in Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D on this one), Tony Way’s Kimmel was hysterically out of place but at the same time just right for everything he was a part in, and of course, if Brendan Gleeson is in the movie, how can you NOT drop something about him in a review? You can’t, that’s how… and even if his part in this movie was very small, his performance was off the charts as usual.

Aaaand, there you go…. a quick review on Edge of Tomorrow for you. If you haven’t seen it, I strongly recommend that you do, ’cause it truly is a “Theater MUST” kind of movie. And as I promised time and time again, there will be a lot more postage here on T.T, but until the next one….. would you please jump to my facebook-page Tango’s Thoughts and give it a like… it sure would help the “cause”, if you know what I mean! Until next time….