Rob Zombie’s Halloween

The day has finally arrived… Halloween. And what better way to celebrate this dark holiday than to watch just that? Not much, I’d say. So, for this years Horror-a-thon, I’ve chosen to watch Rob Zombie’s Halloween instead of the original. Why? Because I think it’s a much better film, that’s why. And I know that the original Halloween is a classic and that it broke a lot of ground when it comes to slasher-flicks, but I just can’t stand the original (and most of its sequels). I’m fully aware of what people will think about that statement but I stand by it. The original stands proud with a 7.9 IMDB-score and a 94% Fresh on Rotten in comparison to the remake’s 6.0 and 25%, but ratings isn’t everything…. which you all know. Anyway, the remake was written and directed by Rob Zombie and it stars Malcom McDowell as Dr. Loomis, Brad Douriff as Sheriff Brackett, Scout Taylor-Compton as Laurie and Tyler Mane as Michael Myers, as well as Daeg Faerch as Michael at age 10. But on to the movie then, shall we..

We all know the story of Michael Myers stalking Laurie Strode and her friends on Halloween night and Zombie’s remake doesn’t change anything specific about that, but what it does is, it gives us a greater insight in “Why” Michael goes on this killing spree. The first 40 minutes or so is focused on Michael as a young boy, living with his mother, an older sister, a baby sister and a stepfather, where we see him being bullied, both in school and at home. The first thing in this movie that really sticks with you, is something everyone that have ever been bullied has thought about at least once in their lives…. taking out revenge on the bully (I’m pretty sure some of them did more than just think about it, too). And Michael does just that. He whacks the kid with a branch and when the bully falls down, Michael keeps on whacking him into a bloody pulp. Later on, he cuts his stepfathers throat, beat his sisters boyfriend to death with a bat and stabs his sister (while wearing the infamous Shatner-mask) seventeen times, leaving only his baby sister and mother alive. Needless to say, he ends up in a sanitarium, where he is put under Dr. Samuel Loomis’ psychiatric care. While in this psych-ward, he begins crafting weird looking masks, telling his mother that they hide his ugliness, and all the while becoming more and more withdrawn, always wearing these masks. After a while, Michael murders a nurse in the sanitarium with a fork, thus setting it straight once and for all… he is a complete psychopath and there is no “curing” him.

We flash forward 15 years, and we see Michael grown up… and yeah, he grew up BIG! Tyler Mane is one ginormous dude, standing at 6′ 9″(here shown next to Danny Trejo (to the right), standing at 5′ 7″), so the very sight of him is downright scary. For now, verything seems fine and dandy, with Michael pretty much catatonic, only focusing on creating his weird masks. But of course, there’s always that dumb f*cker who doesn’t know any better (in this case, a dumbass redneck hillbilly) who fucks everything up while (with his cousin) raping another patient in Michael’s room, you know, just because that was a great idea…. well, Michael didn’t think so. Yeah, you guessed it, he fucks them up both up, then the real movie begins. He escapes the sanitarium and backtracks to his old home, where he conveniently had stashed away a kitchen knife and the Shatner-mask… oh, for all of you who didn’t know that, the Michael Myers-mask is just a William Shatner-mask painted white. You learn something new every day, don’t ya?….

Anyway, this is where I’m gonna stop dropping spoilers. All I’m going to say about it from now on, is that… being that the mask apparently have been laying under the floorboards for 15 years and change, it’s only natural that it have begun to deteriorate, which I think gave it an incredible new look. Instead of that pale white expressionless mask we’re used to, we now get a creepy, badass, puts-tears-in-your-eyes scary mask that feels just as messed up and freaky that Michael himself really is… Props to Zombie for that one! Both Tyler Mane and Daeg Faerch gave incredible performances as old and young Michael respectively, and Faerch’s performance is even ranked #8 in the “Top 10 Performances From A Child Star In Horror” by Horrornews.

As for the rest of the cast, they did their jobs pretty well. Malcom McDowell’s Dr. Samuel Loomis was really believable but Scout Taylor-Compton’s Laurie Strode was a little dry at times, so it helped that she’s unbelievably easy to look at (yeah… she’s hot)! And of course, you have the alluring Sheri Moon Zombie as Michael’s mother and she does what she always does, she shows her ass. Hey, I ain’t sayin’ that’s a bad thing! But if I were to pluck one actor/actress from this movie’s roster for a performance-award, it would have to go to Brad Dourif for his Sheriff Lee Brackett. If he didn’t have Chucky on his resume, one could almost argue that this is what he was meant for. Oscar-worthy performance, to say the least.

Well what’ya know… I can’t think of anything else to say about this one right now. However, as it is for many other movies, this one is going to be featured in one of my webisodes, where I’ll be compairing them somewhat more in depth with the original, along with both Halloween II as well. So… I guess that’s it for the Horror-a-thon. Yeah, it really is, we made it!

What’ya think? Should I keep doing more horror-reviews, or should I just write whatever I want to write about like before? Please, tell me, I’m anxious to hear YOUR thoughts!

But as of now, I’m gonna go scoop myself a huge bowl of ice cream and eat it while watching a feel-good movie. It’s kinda needed now, after watching almost 85 horror-movies in 31 days. Yeah, didn’t know that did ya, that I watched more than the ones I wrote about? Well I did… and I’m pretty sure I won’t be watching any more scary movies this week or possibly even next week. A Horror-hiatus if you will. But I’ll be back very soon with other delicious movie-related posts, don’t you trouble your little nobs about that. But until then…. which one did you prefer, the 1978 original or the 2007 remake?

Evil Dead

Almost there, folks, the end of the road. But we still have two more titles to cover before it’s over. And as the second-to-last title of the 2013 Horror-a-thon, I chose Evil Dead. The film was written by Rodo Sayagues and Fede Alvarez (who also directed) and is an adaption of Sam Raimi’s now Cult-classic film The Evil Dead from 1981, so the first question is.. How does it stand against the original? Not good, I’m afraid. The remake has so far (and I’m pretty sure it won’t get any higher over time) received a rating of 6.5 on IMDB opposed the original’s 7.5 and a 62% against a 98% Fresh-rating on Rotten, so it’s more than safe to say that it stands in the overwhelming shadow of Sam Raimi’s -81 classic. But how is it as a movie? Let’s take a look….

The first thing that comes to mind here is the movie’s tagline: “The most terrifying film you will ever experience.” which I would perceive as a kind of false advertisement. The movie relied solely on it’s abundance of gore rather than focusing on scaring people with what actually is a great premise for a scary movie.

Four friends are gathered at a remote cabin (in the woods, of course) where they are attempting a detox for a fifth friend. Upon discovering a basement filled with hanging dead cats and other miscellaneous creepy items, making them immediately think of witchcraft, they find a creepy parcel wrapped in barb wire. Of course, as you would have it, one of them opens the parcel and finds a book bound in (what seems to be) human skin. Aaand of course, he reads from it, thus releasing some scary as f*ck evil upon them and everything bloody you can imagine, happens. And as we see one of the girls, Mia (played by Jane Levy), being detoxed, she stumbles around all crazy from the withdrawal, when finally she tries to leave. She crashes the car and is then “raped” by the woods and possessed by a demon of sorts. Of course no one believes her when she tries to tell her because she’s detoxing and… there you have your movie. Does it sound great? Nah…. and it wasn’t either. Sure, it’s not as bad that I feel I have to Dump it, but it’s nothing I would consider watching again in at least a few years…

Another thing that kept coming back to me as I watched it… I could easily see where they tried to give homages to the original, which I would think is to please the original’s fan-base, but I could also see clear as day where they would stir up some serious hate from that very same fan-base. If you’re remaking a classic, make sure you don’t screw up some of the more infamous details of the film you’re remaking. Think of Nightmare on Elm Street. How would you as a fan of the franchise react, if they gave Freddy a kitchen-knife or creepy-long fingernails instead of his glove? It just wouldn’t be right. I got just that, the feeling of something being really wrong, two or three times during Evil Dead and after the end ….. Please, dear Chris, don’t let them make a sequel!!

So there you have it, my second-to-last entry in this years Horror-a-thon. Tomorrow is Halloween, and with that… the finale of it all. And what movie are we taking a look at tomorrow? Well, Halloween, of course…. the Rob Zombie-remake, though. But until then…. if you’re going for the ultimate Evil Dead-experience, I strongly suggest that you throw this remake to the side and watch the original instead. Hell, watch the entire trilogy!

The Conjuring

Okay, so… The Conjuring. The film was written by Chad & Carey Hayes and directed by James Wan and is a supernatural horror-movie starring Patrick Wilson (yeah, the dude from Insidious, or more commonly known as Nite Owl) and Vera Farmiga (currently portraying Norma Bates in the Psycho-prequel Bates Motel) as the Warrens, a pair of paranormal investigators, who’s services are needed by a family of seven (Ron Livingston & Lili Taylor + kids). As far as ratings goes, I’d say that it’s to fresh to give it a fair chance, so I’m leaving that for now. But I will say this, $41.5 million during its opening weekend, that’s one hell of an intake for a horror-film in the summer, so I’m pretty excited to see if it stands the test of time. My guess, it won’t. But please, let me tell you why…

While the film sets out to be a scary movie, it lacks any elements that would make it scary. Sure, it’s listed as a Horror/Thriller on IMDB, but I would really wanna go as far as to say that it’s more of a Thriller/Drama with some minor horror-touches on it. The few things that Could be seen as scary were minor and they were all scattered throughout the entirety of the film, which in turn made it kinda slow and boring, and that’s just not what you want from a horror-movie (even if it’s released in the middle of summer). It could be such an easy explanation that my mindset after watching all these scary movies during this Horror-a-thon is just to twisted, that I’ve been completely desensitized… or that after watching Sinister, I’m having a hard time finding anything else scary. While those are both plausible explanations, I would rather bet my money on the fact that the movie just wasn’t that scary.

The effects were great though, not at all over-the-top as you pretty much were expecting from a movie these days. And the setup…. houff, that was actually one thing I liked about it. The first half of the movie focuses what’s happening in this house, giving us glimpses of supernatural occurrences, and sometimes even blatantly showing us what the hell is happening, but you don’t get that until the movie’s over and I found that to be kinda awesome. An explanation to the entirety of the film hiding in plain sight, taunting us without us even realizing it. But halfway through the movie, when shit starts flying about, birds scramble on the house, people go missing etc, it all becomes one ginormous pit stain of a mess. There’s so much happening at once, you’re left with a hard time following the actual plot, and if there is something I hate, it’s when they shoot stuff upside down, just so they can re-angle the camera on something happening… and they used this a lot! That peeved me greatly.

So in conclusion. Was it a great movie? No. Was it a good movie? At times. Did it scare me? Nope, it didn’t even get me with a jump-scare. Will I recommend this to friends? No, I will not. With that said, it’s not as bad as I make it out to be, it’s actually quite watchable… if you’re bored and have Nothing else to watch. And the re-see value? Sure, some 5-10 years apart, maybe.

That’s it for me tonight. Hope you had a good read, and have a pleasant continuation of your evening. Me, I’m gonna go play some Uncharted 2: Among Thieves for a few hours before watching tomorrow’s Horror-a-thon title. And what is that, you ask? I’m thinking either Drag Me To Hell or Silent Hill: Revelation. We’ll see how it turns out tomorrow. But until then….. if you have a demon, ghost or any supernatural entity visiting, make sure it stays happy, otherwise it’ll hurt you!